Some Monday redneck humor for ya

[imported_drgnfly3030]

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road
drinking a couple of bottles of Budweiser. The passenger, Bubba, said, "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a dadgum police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers! "
"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads then throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?" asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?" said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight and put the labels on each of their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "Howdy boys. Ya'll been drinkin'?"
"No sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels... "Me and Bubba's on the Patch".

[imported_drgnfly3030]

"Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?"

"Yes. What can I do for you?"
"I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith....He' s hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find
no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.

Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.

"Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd....Did the Sheriff come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep!"

"Happy Birthday, buddy!"